I'm BAAAACCCCKKKKK

Holy Cow it has been A LONG time since I have blogged... I have missed it yet life has filled in the gaps of time I used to take to update with 2 little munchkins there hardly seems time. BUT time will be made from here on out. Last week I got the impression that I needed to start blogging again.. just for our family journal. I have all these high hopes of being a great journal keeper reality is I AM NOT so I need to blog for that reason and because we have moved and don't get to see our family and friends as much as we used to or want to this will be our family update spot. Are you excited? You should be ha ha. AND because my sweet Aunt Tammy so lovingly asked me when I was going to update my blog... just a day after the impression came she's in tune and here I am. A LOT has happened over the last year so just a little recap for all the posts I have missed sharing. Ray Graduated from the U GO UTES!! and landed a sweet job with Proctor&Gamble in northern Utah We moved from Salt Lake to Howell for 6 months we lived in a tiny little house that was full of love and easy to clean We took our first family vacation to San Diego Grayson loved the beach, Safari park, Temple Flowers, and all the sun Cali had to offer. We brought home our 3rd little addition sweet Brydger (I can't find any newborn pics of him ahhhh) He is the perfect fit to our family we LOVE him so much! Grayson loves being a big brother too We bought a house in Garland.... welcome to being first time home owners. We are so blessed because it really is our dream home (if only it were in the city) and as a side note not nearly as easy to clean as our tiny little Howell abode :) Grayson turned 2 He is SO FUN and SO SWEET (we really lucked out in the baby department) We ran our 4th year in Moab for Blaze Ray came in at his best time ever 1:58 and I came in 15 minutes under my last 1/2 at 2:30 I seriously LOVE Moab if you can't tell! Our SIL Elena ran it with us having a brand new baby SHE IS AMAZING we are so grateful for their love and support. And her sister Steph ran the 5 miler with a hurt knee she is so sweet! We feel so blessed to be able to run this every year and are so grateful for all the the love and support we feel. Rays uncle Lance ran it also but we didnt get a pic with him :( We are grateful for those who run and those who help from the side lines we couldn't do it without you. I've started taking photography classes so far I love it so we will see how it goes. Ray is working out and working like a mad man he travels often and we feel so blessed to have a great job They boys are growing like weeds and we LOVE being their parents. Graysons' vocabulary is growing everyday and it is so fun to watch him learn and grow. Brydger is our little tank now known as Bur Bur or Burbs because that is what Grayson calls him and we love it. 'baby Burber" Moving has been a VERY VERY hard adjustment for me... I REALLY MISS THE CITY and never in my life wanted to move back to where I grew up but I know there is a reason that Heavenly Father has us here and am trying so hard to bloom where I have been planted. We love being so close to my family but so miss our family and friends in the city. Heavenly Father needs to stretch me a little more and this is a great way to do it... I am far beyond my comfort zone and am relying heavily on him to help me understand what it is we need to do here. More to come this is a very long post... just a few pics to end for fun :) Till next time :)

Updated life

We Moved and don't have access to the internet other than on our phones and its a little too much to update the blog from my phone. So my posts are few and far between however we just bought a house so we will soon have regular internet again to update more often :) Grayson is so fun and so smart! He loves to help me in the kitchen, loves to read, and loves to watch bubble guppies (if your not a parent you will have no idea what that is but seriously it is the cutest cartoon ever)He knows all his body parts and every animal sound and is a little heartthrob we LOVE HIM!

Brydger was blessed on November 4th he is growing like a little weed! He's starting to smile and coo and needless to say we are in pure love!

Ray and I are great! He loves his job and are just waiting to close on our house so after Christmas we will be moving in and I'll keep up with Blogging better :) Life is Good! c

Introducing Brydger Ray King

We have been MIA in the blogging world... we currently don't have internet so it makes it a little more difficult to update on our lives... so here we go! We moved from SLC up to small town USA into a little tiny house we are renting and found a house that we are wanting to buy so we are just waiting to put an offer in... SCARY but exciting too! Grayson is growing like a weed and is so smart and so fun, Ray started his new job and loves it, I have been getting bigger and bigger with this baby and the heat and now... we have another addition to our family. This was going into the hospital thinking we would have him anytime... good thing we took this pic because it is my only maternity one before he was born

Introducing Brydger Ray King Born on Friday 8/24 6lbs 2oz 19in

Grayson loves him and we are so glad! So the story goes... I had been staying with our Brother and Sister in law Tyrel and Elena because Ray had to go out of town for work for a week and my Dr thought I could go anytime. So to play it safe I stayed in Bountiful and things were pretty calm all week until Wed Night and Thurs morning I started contracting pretty consistently (pretty normal for me) So I had a Dr apt on Thurs and she told me I should have Ray come home because this little baby was coming before he would be here... So Ray came home a day early and a whole lot of money more and no baby... until Friday morning when we went on a walk with the boys and I was contracting so hard I could barely make it back to the car. So we came into the hospital and I was ready to go... they sent us down to Labor and Delivery to check in and they were all full... no empty rooms so they told us to go to lunch and come back. So we went and came and they admitted us my epidural hurt so bad but well worth it considering what was coming. I labored for 5 hours and Brydger started going into fetal distress meaning his heart rate would drop down to 60 or lower (should be 130+) every time my body would contract his heart rate would plummet so not knowing the stress the baby was under or what my previous scar from Blazes C Section would do the Dr ordered an emergency C Section. I was devastated and started bawling as soon as she told me... then it turned into complete chaos everyone robing up, the anesthesiologist giving me tons of epidural meds, my bed being wheeled down the hall into the OR and being cut open to get our little miracle here safe and sound. I was given way too much pain med and it made the next few hours of our lives absolute hell to put it nicely. I though I was going to die the room was spinning, I couldn't stop shaking, I had to send my baby away because I was having constant panic attacks and all the nurse and Ray could do was watch. It was honestly one of the scariest and most awful experiences of my life. One that may determine this being our last little one... time has a way of healing but we will see on this one. Through all the trauma we have another sweet little boy and can't imagine our life without him in it. He is so sweet, he hardly cries, sleeps a lot, and loves to be cuddled.. he is definitely our baby!

Grayson loves him! He was so cute when he came in the hospital room he said 'Mommy' in his darling little voice and climbed up on the bed with me and wanted to see his little brother. He gave him a giant hug (a little too hard but Brydger didn't mind) gave him a kiss then went on his little way to play. He has been staying with Tyrel and Elena and loves them! We are so grateful for them keeping him so long. He is such a great little boy and we are so excited for him to have a little brother. We've had lots of visitors and love to see everyone we miss so much! I will post pics soon :)

Blazes 3rd Birthday

I can't believe it has been 3 years since our sweet little Angel entered our lives. We have been so blessed to have had him for a week on this earth and know that he is waiting for us on the other side. We have extra incentive to try that much harder knowing that him being in our family forever depends on it. One of my good friends lost her little boy just a month before we lost our sweet Blaze and when I was talking to her about how to cope with such a hard thing she said " Heavenly Father needed our angels and he loves us enough to know that we can make it back to them... not everyone gets the opportunity to have an angel waiting for them" A lot of time and A lot of perspective have helped me to understand this is true... he gave us Blaze for one week but we can have him for eternity. Looking back I can't believe it has been 3 years since the hardest trial of our lives began, words can't describe that first day, first week, first month, or first year but I think about it every day wondering how I could have handled it better, if I did all I could, if our little Blaze knows how much we love him and miss him. I thought I would literally die myself because of the heartache. Luckily I have an amazing family and great friends and most of all the best husband ever who carried me when I could not do it on my own. I also feel like we faced this trial because I needed to understand the Atonement of Christ more personally in my life... when it was the hardest I remember feeling the Savior and the power of the Atonement knowing that despite all I had been through I was not alone he had been there too... someone once told me "Heavenly Father lost his son too." Through my anger and broken heart I came to understand there is no one who knows better than Heavenly Father does how I was feeling... so here we are 3 years later, still missing our little Blaze but I know he is with our Savior and I know that heaven needs little angels too... so to my sweet Blaze Happee Birthday Sweetheart! We wish you were here to celebrate with us, we wish we could watch you grow, and learn, and be part of our family on this earth. But since we can't do those things we will send balloons to heaven and thank Heavenly Father that you are part of our family every single day! We Love You, We miss You, and we can't wait to sweep you in our arms and never have to say goodbye or let go again. I also need to tell you that last week while I was packing up some things for our move Grayson found your tote with all your things in it and inside was your Tractor from Grandpa Nessen he saw it and went bbbbbbrrrrrr like the tractor noise I said to him "that's Blazes tractor" He pointed up and gave me the biggest smile... he knows who you are and loves you so much! So I hope you don't mind but I let him play with your tractor and he LOVED it.. he drove it up and down the hall. When I hear him have sad dreams I often think it is because the veil is closing for him and he knows your time together is short. He prays for you every night with Mommy and Daddy and loves you so much. So from your brother Grayson Happee Birthday big brother! Happee Birthday Baby! WE LOVE YOU!

Graduation We Made It!

HE DID IT!!! It has been a long road and looking back worth every struggle, every minute writing papers, studying for tests, and all the sacrifice. We are SO PROUD of Ray and his accomplishment of Graduating from the University of Utah (GO UTES!!) Way to go my handsome Chemical Engineer all of your hard work has paid off WE LOVE YOU!

Waiting with all the Chemical Engineers to graduate... Wooo Hooo!

Congrats graduate (Huge understatement

Our little family

Rays parents always so good to support us!

WAY TO GO DADDY! (Aunt Ashee did his hair)

Ash and Kenna filled Graysons room with balloons full of money for his congrats... he had so much fun popping them all... who wouldn't when there is money in all of them. Huge thanks to my Sister for helping me ALL DAY love her!

Ray the little stinker gave a touching speech thanking everyone for their love and support in helping him graduate then he surprised me with an 'endless love' necklace for loving him though it and being his sugar momma LOVE YOU BABE!

Playing at the BBQ

My handsome cousin Brodie

My Wonderful Parents I love them so much!

Tyrel and Tristan cooking up some Burgers

Cookie what cookie? We had a great time celebrating Huge thanks to everyone who came to celebrate with us and for all the gifts and help bringing food. BLESSED is the best word to describe how we feel when it comes to family and friends we have been more BLESSED than we could ever imagine. Huge thanks to everyone for all of your love and support WE LOVE YOU!! WAY TO GO RAY what an accomplishment, you are amazing for sticking it out and following your dreams although other paths seemed easier you have become what you wanted to be when you 'grew up' and we are so proud of you! Now onto Proctor & Gamble and more life adventures that await us :)