Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Live Today TOFW

So this past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Time Out For Women with some of the amazing women in my family. Talk about an AMAZING experience and just what I needed in my life at this time. The theme was 'Sweet Assurance' (pic above and I have no idea who that woman is) and it was absolutely sweet! This was their 1st time in Salt Lake City and I am certain it will not be their last. I am still on a high from it and feel like my life has changed because I was able to hear and feel of so many amazing womens experiences
On Friday night we were so blessed to hear music from Jenny Oaks Baker (Elder Oaks Daughter) she is a famous violinist and SOO talented. Sister Neilson (married to Elder Neilson of the 12) and Sherri Dew spoke talk about POWERFUL I love that woman. I was so moved on Friday that I could hardly wait for Saturday... well it proved to be just as amazing each speaker made an impact on my heart and made me want to be a better woman, a better wife, sister, daughter, aunt... the list goes on and on.
One of the major highlights for me was this woman
Hilary Weeks.

Ok I LOVE this woman and don't even know her but have listened to her music for years. She is one of the main reasons I wanted to go and when she opened on Saturday morning I felt so overcome by her talent. She is absolutely beautiful and has an amazing ability to share the spirit. She is funny, Witty, and amazingly talented. We bought her CDs before the event even started on Saturday and with each song she sang my sister and I would check our CDs to make sure that particular song was on there . I felt like what ever she was singing applied exactly to me and to the things going on in my life. There is one of her songs that I have adapted as my 'theme' song because it says exactly how I feel at this point in my life.
Saturday was 6 Months since the birth of Blaze and I think by no coincidence I was meant to hear all of TOFW and particularly hear Hilary sing. The song is on her new album If I only Had Today and it is called "Just Let me Cry" (here is just a little clip of the chorus I will try to post more soon www.hilaryweeks.com/clip.php?clipid=justlet) it speaks exactly what my heart feels. So many of her songs do that for me. I have made a goal since this event to replace the not so spiritual things in my life (such as music) with thing that will allow me to hear the voice of the Lord more clearly. I am indebted to all the women who spoke at the conference and particularly to Hilary Weeks. I am grateful that she is sharing her talent with us as Women and Daughters of God. Christmas is coming soon so check out her new Christmas album it just went on sale a few weeks ago here is a link to more info on her too http://deseretbook.com/hilaryweeks (below is a picture)
My Sister and Mother in Law went to get our things autographed from here while I was taking a little break. They took my CD to her and it wasn't until I got home that I read her message is said
Dear Janet,
Live Today
Hilary Weeks
I read it to Ray and my eyes filled with tears that is exactly what I need to do is Live Today. She didn't know that but I feel that she was inspired to write it...
I just know that if I could stick her in my pocket I would for sure make it to Heaven. She inspires me to be better and to know that God Loves me despite all of my weaknesses and heartaches. He hears me, he knows me, and he Loves me and because of her I am able to remember that. I feel so blessed and so grateful!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Chosen One

Our darling friend Liz sent us this wonderful poem last week and I wanted to post it on our blog. It rings true in ever sense for me. The test of Faith seems to come the hardest these days. Thank You Liz for loving us and for sharing!

Chosen One
(I don't know who wrote it)

If before you were born, I could have gone to Heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you..

If God had told me "this soul will one day need extra care", I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "that one day this soul may make my heart bleed", I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "this soul would make me question the depth of my faith", I still would have chosen you...

If God had told me "this soul would make tears flow from my eyes that would overflow a river", I still would have chosen you..

If He had told me "our time spent together here on Earth could be short", I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me 'all that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you...

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you...


Tomorrow we are going to order Blazes headstone I can't even begin to express what this does to my heart... we have put it off or at least I have because it seems so final and so heart wrenching and I am tired of my heart being wrenched to say the least. With all that has drastically changed in our lives I still would have chosen Blaze to be in our family. He's the reason I go on when everything in me wants to stop. I can not yet say I am grateful for this experience I just hope whatever God needs for me to learn is being learned because I feel completely broken beyond repair. It is wearing on me, my wonderful husband, and my faith. Heaven give me strength to understand and the ability to move forward.

(just a little side note I realize my blog may become depressing my intention is not to make you feel depressed. This has become my outlet and journal (plan on printing it into a book) So as one of our cousins posted on her blog I don't apologize for anything written here it is my release and my support so Thank You for those who read I love each of you and am so thankful for your support)