Inspiring

This is my sister Ashleigh

AMAZING and INSPIRING (and not to mention BEAUTIFUL)

Ashleigh is my ROCK and such an inspiration to me! She has been thru so much and is full of Faith, Love, Courage, and Perserveriance. Ash lost her little girl Maliah due to early complications in pregnancy. I wasn't here for her I was on my mission and now going thru this loss with Blaze I don't know how she did it. I am so grateful to have her as my Rock she is one who truely understands lifes heartaches with me. I have no doubt we chose to be sisters in the life before this one and I am so grateful because I could not make it thru this life without her! She is so Inspiring to me! I LOVE HER!

This is Abby (from the Biggest Loser)

Completely INSPIRING

For those of you who haven't been watching the Biggest Loser Abby is AMAZING! Last night was a heart wrenching night on the Biggest Loser. Abby shared her story as Jillian was asking her how she does it... how does she keep going when everyone she loved was taken from her. She shared that 2 1/2 weeks after her little boy was born she wasn't feeling well so she had decided to go to the emergency room to get it checked out. Her little 5 year old girl came running out to the car and told her "Mommy I Love You" She kissed her and got in the car. That night her husband loaded the kids in there van and 5 miles from their home was hit by a man doing over 100 MPH it killed them all instantly. HOLY COW rip my heart out! How does she even get out of bed in the morning? I am so impressed with her courage and strength to go on when something so tragic has happened to her. I personally don't know if I could do it! She said she came on the show to learn "how to love again to go from just existing to living."

SHE IS AMAZING

For me the phrase "to go from merely existing to living" Is much easier said than done. A few things on the show hit home with me last night... I find that most of the time I am just existing because I am not ready to live again. I am learning how to move back into living but it is not an easy nor a fun process. Jillian also said to Shay (who I also LOVE) that she was "the Victim of and unfortunate circumstance but not the reason for it" (her Mom was a heroine addict who died). Here goes a bit of bearing my soul.... I have so often thought that Blaze didn't live because of me... I gave in too soon, I exercised too much... a million things that I should have done differently that may have saved him. I have no idea how Abby or Shay feel but I feel that I can relate on a certain level to both of them.

Life is unbearably HARD sometimes and watching the show it is a big realization that so many people struggle so much. I can't imagine loosing my whole family in one day... or in one lifetime but I do know how it feels to lose part of my family. I can't imagine what it feels like to have your mother care more about her addictions than Loving her child but I can relate to being part of a very unfortunate circumstance.

I have such a huge range of emotions I would give ANYTHING to have Blaze back the coming holidays are proving to be harder than I thought... I would give ANYTHING to be pregnant again... I feel like such a snot sometimes! I am sorry if I don't talk to you because your pregnant or have just had your baby it is not because I am not happee for you I genuinely am... I just miss my baby and I hope you understand that! I hope you understand my greiving is FAR from over it has nothing to do with you personally. I am trying to put my trust in God and have enough Faith to not merely exist but to live. So to all of you who inspire me to be better and stick by me while I am trying so hard to move forward

THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!!

Great Friends

On my mission my Aunt Patti sent me a Halloween card that 6 years later is completely applicable it read" They're Big, They're Scary, They're Out of Control...." and on the inside it said "They're my THYS" I laughed forever about this card, thinking about it still makes me laugh!
And now its just how I feel my Thys have become great friends and the madness has GOT TO STOP. No more eating whatever I want and no more idly sitting by while they become closer and closer something has got to be done and no day like today to stop them from becoming even better friends.
Yes I am blogging about my thys :) Next may be about my arms... ohhhh I better not even get started on that.

Eventful Life & FHE

OK so it seems like we have been on the go NON STOP for the last 4 months... we have been home one weekend in 22 weeks INSANE I know! Part of me is grateful it has helped time to go faster for me and part of me feels like I am missing out on life as it whisks right by I am grateful to have been so busy and there are no signs of it slowing down anytime soon. So to catch up on what we've been doing
* We bought a new Nissan Murano and Love IT! The Blazer died we need something reliable I have always loved them... but when we test drove one it was Love for both of us and we shopped around and found a great deal we LOVE IT!

** Cindy (a girl that we taught on my mission) came to visit us for 10 eventful days we loved having her here and are glad she was able to come

*** We went to Zions National Park while Cindy was here we've never been there and didn't have much time there but what we saw was Beautiful! We were also able to spend some time with my mission companion taught Cindy in Hurricane while Ray went to see his Aunt Lillian and her family.

** We just got home from an eventful weekend in Idaho Rays youngest brother played JV and kicked butt then his other brother was first runner up for homecoming Royalty. We watched Homecoming games in the FREEZING cold weather, went on 4 wheeler rides, Shot guns & Had lots of fun and are getting a new little niece on the King side.
* Yesterday (Sunday) my little nephew Nash (not so little 3 months 15 lbs) was blessed so we were able to spend the whole day with my family and had a great time.

We are 98 % sure we are moving into a new place more to come on that later
Last but not least
FHE so the second Sunday of each month my Grandma and Grandpa Huff have FHE at their house in Brigham. It happened to be yesterday as we were on our way home from Idaho. I didn't really want to go because we had been in the car for a while and gone all weekend I just wanted to go home and relax... well we decided to go an I AM SO GRATEFUL that we did. I LOVE my grandparents I have been so blessed to have AMAZING grandparents on both sides (my Moms and my Dads) and now to have Rays as well we count our blessings! FHE consists of Dinner then a lesson assigned to different families each month. So last night my Uncle Joel gave the lesson on Conference and did a little quiz to see who listened to all the talks. We had a blast! just reviewing what we had learned and been taught... we laughed and cried a bit. I just want to express my gratitude for my family! I feel so BLESSED to be a part of something so wonderful! Each time the lesson ends we go around in each family and give updates on what is going on in each family (there are 8 brother and sisters so it takes a while) then we sing God be with you till we meet again each time my Grandma cries which starts a whole lot of tears for everyone. Last night there was a very special spirit (there always seems to be) I distinctly felt the spirit in the room as we sat together singing hoping that God will be with all of us until we meet again. I just want to say I am so GRATEFUL for the heritage which is ours. I am SOO Grateful that we were able to go!

Powerful

I have a lot to Blog about but my emotions are a little to raw at the moment so I will blog about this man.

Jeffrey R. Holland

He is my favorite apostle (if you can have favorites I do). He tells it like it is and I love that about him. I always look forward to general conference to sit and listen to the council of the prophet and apostles. There is nothing like a good jolt to get my spirit going again. We were able to go to the Sunday afternoon scession and Elder Holland spoke first. Talk about powerful!! If you have not heard him speak or read his talk you should. When he speaks it always reaches my heart he speaks with POWER and PASSION and TRUE CONVICTION. I feel blessed to have been in his presence along with all those who spoke. He spoke powerfully about the Book of Mormon and the men who have died for its cause. He bore testimony as a whitness of God of its truthfulness and power to bring peace in our lives.

I want for that peace to be in my life and in our home and because of him I resolve to have it and not take the Book of Mormon for grantid as I have. Living the gospel really comes down to doing the basic things we've been taught since we were little. Daily prayer, and daily scripture study, service, and with each thing we do to come closer unto the savior we are promised his blessing and that peace that only he can give.

So today I am grateful for Elder Holland for his passion and conviction to the gospel of Jesus Christ and all of the men and women who lovingly prepared to teach us this weekend.