Blazes 3rd Birthday

I can't believe it has been 3 years since our sweet little Angel entered our lives. We have been so blessed to have had him for a week on this earth and know that he is waiting for us on the other side. We have extra incentive to try that much harder knowing that him being in our family forever depends on it. One of my good friends lost her little boy just a month before we lost our sweet Blaze and when I was talking to her about how to cope with such a hard thing she said " Heavenly Father needed our angels and he loves us enough to know that we can make it back to them... not everyone gets the opportunity to have an angel waiting for them" A lot of time and A lot of perspective have helped me to understand this is true... he gave us Blaze for one week but we can have him for eternity. Looking back I can't believe it has been 3 years since the hardest trial of our lives began, words can't describe that first day, first week, first month, or first year but I think about it every day wondering how I could have handled it better, if I did all I could, if our little Blaze knows how much we love him and miss him. I thought I would literally die myself because of the heartache. Luckily I have an amazing family and great friends and most of all the best husband ever who carried me when I could not do it on my own. I also feel like we faced this trial because I needed to understand the Atonement of Christ more personally in my life... when it was the hardest I remember feeling the Savior and the power of the Atonement knowing that despite all I had been through I was not alone he had been there too... someone once told me "Heavenly Father lost his son too." Through my anger and broken heart I came to understand there is no one who knows better than Heavenly Father does how I was feeling... so here we are 3 years later, still missing our little Blaze but I know he is with our Savior and I know that heaven needs little angels too... so to my sweet Blaze Happee Birthday Sweetheart! We wish you were here to celebrate with us, we wish we could watch you grow, and learn, and be part of our family on this earth. But since we can't do those things we will send balloons to heaven and thank Heavenly Father that you are part of our family every single day! We Love You, We miss You, and we can't wait to sweep you in our arms and never have to say goodbye or let go again. I also need to tell you that last week while I was packing up some things for our move Grayson found your tote with all your things in it and inside was your Tractor from Grandpa Nessen he saw it and went bbbbbbrrrrrr like the tractor noise I said to him "that's Blazes tractor" He pointed up and gave me the biggest smile... he knows who you are and loves you so much! So I hope you don't mind but I let him play with your tractor and he LOVED it.. he drove it up and down the hall. When I hear him have sad dreams I often think it is because the veil is closing for him and he knows your time together is short. He prays for you every night with Mommy and Daddy and loves you so much. So from your brother Grayson Happee Birthday big brother! Happee Birthday Baby! WE LOVE YOU!