Life or Something Like It

Have you ever seen the movie Life of Something Like it? I think it has Angelia Jolee anyway I loved that movie when I first saw it... it has been so long since I've seen it I would need to watch it again to see if I still do. Anyway it is about this woman who has the 'perfect' life she loves her job and her life is going great until she meets a homeless man who's predictions always come true.. he tells her she will die in the next week or something like that.. so she is forced to focus on the things that really matter and what she would do with her last week.
This brings me to my point.. sometimes I feel like life is good no unforeseen things lurking in the future that might throw a wrench into how good life is at the moment. BUT the wrenches ALWAYS come and the Heartache soon follows I guess it teaches me to be a little more grateful for when life is so good.
For me this is a venting post about all the things that I feel are unfair not just in my life but in the lives of those I love so much sometimes I feel like I am not cut out for this life my heart can't handle the constant heartache and helplessness I feel when others are in need. So for today here are some of the things I wish...
I wish
I could just have enough money to take care of those who struggle financially. Not to just hand out money but to give it to those who are trying so hard to keep going when the world pushes against them in everything they do.
I wish
I had enough time to just sit with each one of the people I love and listen to their heartaches, triumphs, dreams, and their wishes
I wish
I was a missionary again and could see the Love the Savior has for each one of us without being so judgmental and unkind
I wish
We could all take the time to see the good in each other rather than look for the flaws
I wish
I could hold my little boy again to catch the glimpse of Heaven and tell him that I love him.

My heart is extremely heavy today for all the things I feel like I don't have time to do. For all of those in my family and in my life who struggle hoping better days will come but seeing no sign of relief in sight. And for the things I feel like I don't have time to do...
I have been reminded for the last little while that we are not here for all the physical things we came for our spirits... my spirit has been neglected as I have turned my focus to all of the other things that need to be done... perhaps it is time to re-adjust to the things that matter and let my Heavenly Father redirect where my focus should be. Heaven help me to be a little better!

Extra Footprints

We re...
Excited
Nervous
Anxious
Nautious (Janet Only)
Worried
Ornery (again Janet only)
Tired
Emotional (Janet Mostly)
Demanding (All Janet)
Hungry (All Janet)
EXTRA CAUTIOUS
Well know by many doctors and speciaists
and Extatic all in one!


Coming February 2011 we're adding another set of footprints to our family!(We hope not much sooner than Feb but our goal is 36 weeks which would be the beginning of January) WE ARE SO BLESSED!

Shopping Adventures

Ok so 2 stories 1 hilarious... 1 you might think I'm a brat... and sometimes I am.

#1 We went to a store we rarely go to... (I'll refrain from mentioning the name)
A) because nothing in this particular store seems to fit me right... everything seems to be sewed crooked or something. and...
B)I just never really go there.
However we were out and about and had heard about about a great sale at this store... so we stopped. I tried on about 7 dresses all of them having problem A which is why B comes into play.
So we were leaving the store and Ray says
"Look at this shirt its on sale for $7.50 but its a small (this was for him mind you)"
Me: "Oh thats nice... too bad its a small"
Ray: "They have a large on this rack but its not on sale"
SIDE NOTE: Rack was 3 feet away from sale rack
Me: "Oh well lets just take them both to the counter and they will give us the sale price I'm sure its just a mistake"
Ray: "Okay"
so we get both shirts and head for the checkout
Me: "Um these shirts are the same but only one is marked down is that right"
Clerk "Yes thats right"
Me: "Excuse Me how is that possible they're the same shirt"
Clerk: "Yeah I know but thats right"
Me: "How can that be right"
Clerk: "Well we do markdowns based on when they arrive in the store not based on inventory"
Ray: Giggling in the back ground at my face and what the clerk is saying
Me: Mouth open in dis-belief "What?? I've never heard of that before in my life"
Clerk: "You see this one (Sale Shirt) came in in February and this one (not Sale Shirt) came in in June... So one is on sale and one is not"
Me: Mouth still open in dis-belief "Ok we don't want either thanks"
We walked out of the store and barley made it before we both burst out laughing that is the most INSANE thing ever! So if I find something full price... I better check the sale rack too because one may have come in a few months ago... WHAT?? Good thing I always check the sale racks too... good times!

#2 I will not hold back from the name on this one WALMART
Why do I submit myself over and over to going to that store... we used to live super close so it was great or so I thought. I remember everytime I would leave the store I was SO frustrated... and swore I would NEVER go back... but I always would!
Reasons I used to like it...
Convience
One Stop Shopping
Low Prices on everything in the store
One Stop Shopping... I repeat

So the last few times we have been in Walmart I have left floored... their customer service is AWFUL, long lines, no one to help you EVER, the list goes on. Last night after waiting for 20 minutes to get some simple fabric... no one came to help after several calls and the person working at the counter helping the customer in line in front of me just walked away.... she didn't even finish helping the woman in front of me!! SO I took matters into my own hands cut my own fabric and took the spools to the front so they could ring them up at the correct price. The nice girl ringing us thru said "We're not supposed to ring them thru like that" side note the woman waiting in the fabric department with me took hers to customer service. So the clerk calls a manager... no one comes... we wait and wait... then the clerk turns around and yells for this manager "Dale I need help" he was 5 feet from her register the whole time but never came to help! So she explains the situation.. he says "They're taking care of this same thing right now in customer service you'll have to go over there"
Me "I have been here for 25 minutes now waiting for someone to help me and now your telling me to stand in the customer service line that is 20 people long?"
Dale: "Yes there is nothing I can do to help you you need to take your items over there"
Me "No I am not waiting in another line just because you won't help me"
Dale "So you don't want the fabric anymore"
Me "Nope"
Dale look of discust that I would not want them after cutting them...
Ray "This is why we don't shop here anymore your customer service sucks"
Dale just walks away
Me to the clerk "this is nothing personal against you but we've really grown to hate shopping here it is a joke everytime we come in and so we just won't anymore we'll go to Target because they actually care"
Clerk "I feel the same way"
I WAS FLOORED to say the least... so we leave the store and in the parking lot the girl from the fabric dept that was waiting before us tells us she got all of her fabric for free... GRRRR if I wasn't so quick to anger I might have gotten mine for free too!

CaLiFoRnIa 2010

My Birthday :) We went out to dinner with a bunch of friends and family then had cake and Ice Cream at our place I LOVE my hubby! He always pulls it all together!
Here's to 28!
Our 1st day in Cali dropping the boys off for their 6 hour golf game... don't ask ha ha

We met Bart and Lisa at Universal... Bart totally shook up Mikes drink PUNK ha ha ha

We Met Marilyn Monroe at Universal I Loved her pink Caddy! Who wouldn't?


Meet Forrest... Forrest Gump!


We had dinner at Bubba Gumps it was DELISH! All the shrimp you can imagine cooked in every way possible! Love Mikes back in our pic ha ha ha classic!


We went to the LA temple to do sealings it was BEAUTIFUL! We learned it is the biggest temple in North America... it was so great to go with Ash and Mike!


This was a beautiful tree at the temple we LOVED it!

This was the Pre Burn at the beach it still hurts... but we saw a seal and had a blast!

I got my feet wet... a first since we've been married sand and water... ahhh progress people progress


We went to Hollywood the last night... its a little over rated but we had dinner at the California pizza kitchen and it made it all worth it!
WE HAD A GREAT TRIP Yeah for Anniversarys and Vacations
Happee 3rd to us and 7th to Ash and Mikee! It was a much needed and enjoyed get away!
Thanks to Mike and Ash for a great weekend full of laughs and lots of memories!
The best one of all is we missed our flight on Monday and had to wait all day to get on the 8 PM flight... which was late and we didn't get home till 12:30 AM Tues STILL TIRED! It was so worth it!

Madness Monday

I have SOOOO much to blog about... however we will update later.
You see its time for MADNESS MONDAY I've been thinking about this for a long time... opening myself and others up to little quirks that make you... well YOU. So last week I had the FABULOUS opportunity to go to lunch with some of the most AMAZING women I know... and we started discussing MADNESS MONDAY and we we're all laughing so hard... we each have things that make us uniquely us.. things that make us laugh, make us cry, help us find joy in the journey, things that make us want to punch someone in the face, or grab someone in the grocery checkout line who is being an idiot for whatever reason and let them know they look like a fool ha ha... the whole point of this is to find joy in what makes us uniquely us.
So Madness Monday Confession #1
(Because we are going to California this week)
I HATE I mean HATE Sand and Water together... I love them both seperatly but I do NOT like them together. In fact just thinking about it makes me squirm. This makes going to the Beach a LOVE/HATE relationship... do you see the dilema. I HATE the thought of taking sand home in my bathing suit (this reverts back to a Cali trip in my younger years... nothing is more uncomfortable than sand sharing your bathing suit only to go home and fill the tub)
So while at the beach... I may get my feet wet...but NEVER do I get all the way in the water... the risks are far too great ha ha ha! If I do get my feet wet... they must be ALL the way dry because I also HATE the showers... you're just spraying wet sand everywhere...ahhhh it almost puts me over the edge. The fact of the matter is our kids may never get to go to the beach... ok they probably will... but I won't like it.

How do you feel about Sand and Water? Together or Seperate?

One Year Ago

Last night Ray and I went for a run (my first time in 3 weeks grrr). My body seemed to fight me the entire way, I was hot and every step took a lot of effort. We just went 2 miles and my goal was to run it in 22 minutes (I'm not very fast I know) We always end on a hill because of where our house is and it makes it that much harder to push thru to the end. Well I knew my time was close so I tried sprinting to the end up the hill... just about 100 meters from the end I couldn't go anymore... I started walking then had one more burst of sprinting till the end. I sat on the curb for a few minutes trying to make sure my heart wasn't going to burst. I finished in 22 min and 17 sec We walked up hill to our house and I threw myself on the couch... I just sat there so upset that it was so hot and so hard and I missed my goal by 17 seconds!
As I sat there I found myself reflecting on the past year... May had been a very reflective month... I thought of a year ago yesterday our little boy was life flighted and I knew the out come from the minute they moved him to take him to Primarys... I knew that the next 24 hours would be the hardest we would ever face.. and it turned out to be just what I had felt. Ray came in and I burst into tears... I told him I have so much harbored anger... I get so frustrated when everything seems to be so hard. My sweet friend Kayla was having a hard week and she said "do you ever just cry at the injustice of this world" I told Ray that was part of my frustration some people seem to struggle their whole lives no matter what they do they seem to just scrape by and others seem to just fall into luck... So all of my tears last night were for the things that I feel are unjust.
Today marks one year since we let out sweet little Blaze return to heaven. Thinking about that day is surreal... I remember every detail, every phone call to family, every nurse and doctor, almost every breath our little boy took in his final moments. I remember being in a tiny room surrounded by people we love all squished together in love and support for our little family. I remember watching my sweet husband hold Blaze to give him a blessing and I remember all the tears shed for a loss so great. I remember leaving the hospital and having to call the mortuary knowing we would never again in this life see our little boy alive. And I remember driving home just staring out the window... passing hundreds of people thinking... no one has any idea what we have just been thru the world just keeps going when ours has stopped.
So today... one year later we still hurt, we still cry, and we still mourn. And today I am grateful for my Savior I have more love for him than I did a year ago, I have more hope than I did a year ago and I hope I have more faith than I did a year ago. I have a stronger testimony of the atonement than I did a year ago. This year has been hard there is no doubt and on the flip side this year has allowed us to see the hand of God thru others in our lives.
We stand amazed as a family at the out pouring of love we have felt from those who are close to us and those we have never met. Thank You for loving our family! Thank You for your countless prayers in our behalf. Thank you for your service to us and to those around you. And Thank You for being the hands of heaven in our lives. We are blessed beyond measure even through trials we know God loves us. WE LOVE YOU!

And to our Angel Blaze we miss you everyday Thank You for coming to our family. Thank You for bringing so much to the world in such a short time. We can't wait to see you again WE LOVE YOU!

Blazes Birthday

First of all THANK YOU to everyone for your thoughts, your prayers, and the countless kind acts for our little family this last week and year especially. We found ourselves surrounded by people we love and showered with gifts and kind words of inspiration to let us know you care. We are so blessed and really have seen the impact one little boy can have on the lives of so many. Thank You We LOVE YOU!

Blazes birthday was full of emotion as anticipated. We both had the day off which was super nice we got up and went to the temple. We did sealings and were only in the room for a few minutes before the tears began to flow. By divine design I am sure we were able to help families be sealed together... I was instantly reminded of how blessed we were to be sealed before Blaze was born. He is ours forever and I am grateful for the tender teachings of the Lord that reminded me of the eternal bond we have. We sat in the temple for quite a while reflecting on the blessings and trials of the last year. There is no mistake the peace of the temple was a wonderful way to celebrate Blazes birthday. We felt him near and were able to experience some very sacred moments together. We are grateful and our hearts were very full.
We went to Howell to decorate his grave and boy oh boy is that little one loved. He had flowers, some toys from Silas and Logan


some Balloons from Aunt Ashleigh and colored rocks from Kenna and Tasian to hold them down. He got lots of Balloons :) and LOTS of flowers.. we had to leave some home :) Thank You everyone!
We tearfully sang Happy Birthday and expressed our love for our little angel.

Tyrel and Elena gave Blaze a card so Ray read it to him while we were there in attached was this poem. (Thank You Aunt Elena and Uncle Tyrel! Blaze Loves You!)

What's a Birthday Like in Heaven?
I wonder what it's like to have a birthday in heaven?
I'll bet the decorations are wonderful
Perhaps every lost balloon that causes little tears on earth
floats straight up above to help celebrate a birth
I'll bet there's no need for RSVP's
No disappointments when distance keeps one from coming.
After all a birthday boy in heaven gets the best of both worlds
Embraces from a loving Aunt, Great Grandma and Great Great Grandpa
Who instead of party hats, wear matching halos
The birthday boy can jump for joy as he plays party games with siblings and cousins
He can then enjoy the sweetest sound he's ever heard
A birthday song from Dad and Mom
Who truly are angels on Earth!
We'll I don't know for sure what a birthdays like in Heaven
but of this I know, it'd be too hard to show, how many lives
Have been blessed by his birth!

We Love You Blaze! Happee Birthday Baby!