Blazes Birthday

First of all THANK YOU to everyone for your thoughts, your prayers, and the countless kind acts for our little family this last week and year especially. We found ourselves surrounded by people we love and showered with gifts and kind words of inspiration to let us know you care. We are so blessed and really have seen the impact one little boy can have on the lives of so many. Thank You We LOVE YOU!

Blazes birthday was full of emotion as anticipated. We both had the day off which was super nice we got up and went to the temple. We did sealings and were only in the room for a few minutes before the tears began to flow. By divine design I am sure we were able to help families be sealed together... I was instantly reminded of how blessed we were to be sealed before Blaze was born. He is ours forever and I am grateful for the tender teachings of the Lord that reminded me of the eternal bond we have. We sat in the temple for quite a while reflecting on the blessings and trials of the last year. There is no mistake the peace of the temple was a wonderful way to celebrate Blazes birthday. We felt him near and were able to experience some very sacred moments together. We are grateful and our hearts were very full.
We went to Howell to decorate his grave and boy oh boy is that little one loved. He had flowers, some toys from Silas and Logan


some Balloons from Aunt Ashleigh and colored rocks from Kenna and Tasian to hold them down. He got lots of Balloons :) and LOTS of flowers.. we had to leave some home :) Thank You everyone!
We tearfully sang Happy Birthday and expressed our love for our little angel.

Tyrel and Elena gave Blaze a card so Ray read it to him while we were there in attached was this poem. (Thank You Aunt Elena and Uncle Tyrel! Blaze Loves You!)

What's a Birthday Like in Heaven?
I wonder what it's like to have a birthday in heaven?
I'll bet the decorations are wonderful
Perhaps every lost balloon that causes little tears on earth
floats straight up above to help celebrate a birth
I'll bet there's no need for RSVP's
No disappointments when distance keeps one from coming.
After all a birthday boy in heaven gets the best of both worlds
Embraces from a loving Aunt, Great Grandma and Great Great Grandpa
Who instead of party hats, wear matching halos
The birthday boy can jump for joy as he plays party games with siblings and cousins
He can then enjoy the sweetest sound he's ever heard
A birthday song from Dad and Mom
Who truly are angels on Earth!
We'll I don't know for sure what a birthdays like in Heaven
but of this I know, it'd be too hard to show, how many lives
Have been blessed by his birth!

We Love You Blaze! Happee Birthday Baby!

Mothers Day Emotions

We are one week into May and trying to make a difference in some ways I hope I am making a difference and other ways are more noticeable. One thing that sticks out this past week for me was I went to the grocery store... and the checker gave me the incorrect change it was only by a nickel... but she was in such a hurry that she just handed me the change and moved right on. I noticed right away so I kindly said "You gave me too much change" the woman in line behind me said "Thats nice of you" I didn't really think about it but I hope that I made a difference in some small way. This is not really what I had in mind but I think every thought counts.
Thank You everyone who has joined in to help us we are so blessed to have you in our lives! Thank You for your love and support for our little family!

Today is Mothers Day... It has been emotionally much harder than I thought it might be. One Year ago today I went into premature labor... We spent last Mothers Day in the hospital being visited by people we love and waiting for Monday so my doctor would tell us everything was okay and release us to go home... that obviously never happened. I have had a hard day knowing we celebrate motherhood but my little child is not here. Do not get me wrong I am grateful to be a woman and rejoice in womanhood. I just struggle feeling I was born to be a mother and despite our many efforts our little boy is not physically with us and our efforts to expand our family are out of our control.

I don't look forward to the emotions of this week. My heart is very heavy as I long to celebrate Blazes first birthday with him here... I struggle with the thoughts that I do not get to see him make a mess of his cake in his highchair, to see him rip open presents and love the paper more than the gifts, and to take pictures of our ever changing little boy. Instead we will go to his grave and sing happee birthday into the wind hoping it will carry it to where he may be. There will be many tears and heartache as we continue on this journey we call life without one of our own. I find comfort in knowing our Savior holds him near but I can't stop the ache my heart feels wishing he were here. So bring on the week... and heaven help me see the needs in others as a way to bring heaven near.

As always WE LOVE YOU! Thank You for your love and prayers in behalf of our little family.

Make a difference May

I can't believe it's May already! May comes with many mixed emotions for us, it has nearly been a year since we had Blaze and on the 14th we will celebrate his 1st birthday. Honestly I can't believe I have made it a year... I never thought I would make it thru the first year... In so many ways it has flown and in many others it has been the hardest year of my life. As I've thought about what I could to in May to be a little better I thought I would make May our Make a Difference in May month. I want to be better because of Blaze, because I am a Mom, and because I have a little angel counting on me to make it back to be with him.

I don't quite have it all figured out yet... but I want to post this month on someone who has made a difference in my life and I want to in turn make a difference in the lives of others.

As we celebrate Blazes birthday we would love for you to join us in making a difference in the lives of those around us. Those we know and Love and those we don't know but simply meet in passing. We want to honor Blaze on his birthday by serving someone in need we would love for you to join us and share your experiences with us of how serving someone made a difference in your life or in those you reach out to.

So today I am a different person because of Blaze. Because of him I have learned things about myself I didn't know. I have been pushed to what I feel are my absolute limits. I Love this little boy more than anything. I long for the day I can hold him again and I miss him more than words can express. He has made me a different person!


Because of this little angel, I have cried and learned that it's okay to cry and grieve, I have Loved more deeply than I ever imagined, I have learned to be more grateful for the people in our lives, and I have come to have more HOPE in my Savior who I know holds my little angel until we can be with him again. I LOVE YOU BABY!

Lots of Life

So I am a real slacker at updating our blog sometimes... and I look at other blogs and think 'I wish they would update their blog' I am not so good at it myself and I have the mentalitly if I don't have pics to show then I should wait till I get some... well you'll just have to wait for pics here's what has been happening in our house since the 1/2 in Moab
* We got a new camera YEAH thank you tax returns we've waited 3 years to get money back from the goverment ha ha
* We went to Idaho for the weekend Rays brothers Cameron and Brodie were in a play Annie Get Your Gun. They did an awesome job we had a great time watching them.
* Also while in Idaho our new neice Zaylie was blessed she is adorable!
* Ray went to New Mexico to race a Chem E Car they built from scratch (just a little one) they had to make it run on Chemical reactions and they won 1st place YAY so they now go to Nationals which are here in Salt Lake in November (BIG YAY because I HATE it when he is gone I worry the whole time)
* We celebrated Easter and took Blaze a little Easter basket with the cuttest Ducky (wish it was real they're so cute)
* Ray got an internship here in SLC this summer YEAH huge blessing from heaven!
* We celebrated my Grandma and Grandpa Nessens 60th Anniversary. What an accomplishment they are so cute together and we feel SO blessed to be part of their family. We spent the whole day playing and visiting it was a blast!
* We had a Pizza Picnic with Tyrel and Elena at the park and LOVE spending time with them we always have a great time
and lots of other little things in between and we LOVE the sunshine and spring time!
That is our last month in a nut shell we do have lots of pics that I will post later :) Kind of a boring update but we have been running and life is flying by.
We have a 5k coming up on May 1st and Ray starts Baseball tomorrow night... more updates with pics to come...

Moab 1/2 WE DID IT!

WE DID IT! With a lot of training and hard work and a lot of love a support we ran the Moab 1/2 for our little Angel Blaze. Thanks to Amber and Tim for these shirts to run for Blaze. What an amazing experience!

This is us just after I finished thanks to Tyrel & Elena for the pics

and cheering us on WE LOVE YOU!

Ray finishing the race in 2hours 9 minutes he's AMAZING!

Uncle Lance surprised us at mile 12 as a volunteer it was a great surprise and just what I needed thank you Uncle Lance and Aunt Sheila for coming to surprise us and for taking pics! WE LOVE YOU!

Ray passing Aunt Sheila I love the #1 what was he thinking? Makes me laugh Good Job Babe!

Me and Uncle Lance at mile 12 side note I am only smiling because I was absolutely burnt out I had given it my all and had no energy to finish... only to come around the corner and see people I love so much cheering me on. Divine intervention to place loved ones at the finish line to help me finish. I have such gratitude for the love and support we have felt as we set out to run for Blaze its over whelming!

I finished in 2hrs and 39 minutes.

Thank You Everyone for supporting and loving our little family!

Aunt Sheila had this sign for us as we ran by her at mile 12. My heart is very full thinking of that last mile... after I passed Uncle Lance and Aunt Sheila I could see in the distance Ray in his orange shorts and blue shirt... I was so excited to see him! Standing with him was his brother Tyrel and our little nephew Silas... the closer I got Silas was waving his arms and cheering me on he ran up to me and gave me a big hug saying good job Nanet! I have absolute love for that little boy he is so sweet and that giant hug from one little boy was a little piece of heaven on earth. Ray grabbed my hand and ran with me to the finish line.. people were cheering us on and Elena had made a sign for us that said "Blaze the Trail We Love You!" It was perfect it matched our shirts without even planning the day turned out to be great! Tears streamed from our eyes as we crossed the finish line together we did it... we did it for our angel Blaze and we didn't do it on our own... I know that heaven is closer than we realize and angels surround our little family here in person and from the other side we are blessed with love!

oh just a side note... I know I said I was supposed to drop down to the 5 miler and I did for a week or two ha ha... due to recent events in our family we struggled with the decision to bump me back up to the 13 or stay at the 5 I knew I could do more than 5 but hadn't ran farther than 8 ever... so a last minute decision on Friday we changed me to the 13 and I am so grateful that I was able to run what we had originally planned on.. I want Blaze to be proud and felt like sticking with the 13 would help him feel the love that we have for him and WE DID IT!

WE LOVE YOU BLAZE!

Birthday Boy

Meet the Handsome Birthday Boy 28 WHOO HOO!

At his Birthday BBQ grilling at his best

Meet Porter our 'nephew' sort of ha he was eating beans at Costa Vita and had us all laughing

Ray at I Fly Utah on his birthday... much better than jumping from a plane if you ask me

Ray prepping to fly :) Love the Orange Goggles

Ray, Porter, Tyrel, & Silas at the b-day bbq waiting to help blow out candles

Last but not least our cousin Brodie came home last Wed from Argentina I love this picture of him with our nephew Tyke.. WELCOME HOME BRODIE!

That is our week in a nut shell Brodie came home, Ray turned 28, we had a bbq, went to I fly Utah, had dinner with a bunch of our at Lonestar for the Birthday Boy, a giant sleepover with our family, Brodies homecoming, and a family get together on Sunday night with the Aunts... and a few more things to add but a few pics to tell :)

This week Moab 1/2 here we come!

Happee Birthday to my Handsome Husband!

Doctors Orders

Our big race is in just 16 days away... Moab here we come! Under the doctors orders I am sad to announce that I will be dropping down to 5 miles rather than the 13 we have been training for. Because of fertility things I have to keep my heart rate under 150 and am only supposed to do 'low impact' exercise... is there such a thing? I'm a little sad about it but we have come to the conclusion there will always be more races and our running journey is just beginning.

So the good part of this is I can keep my heart rate down for 5 miles... and I get to see Ray finish rather than be the last one in :). The bad news is we have trained so hard and I feel like I am being jipped a little. So it has become a hope of children and running for our angel ... I can have both but not together so until the race... Happee Running!