One Week

It has been one week since we buried our little boy Blaze. My heart aches as the reality that we won't be brining our little boy home and that I'm not pregnant anymore and that there will be no baby at the end of the summer for us. It is hard to express the range of emotions that I feel on a daily basis some days are easier than others. I started back at work yesterday so much harder than I imagined I am just not ready for life to move on yet I realize now that it is much too soon for me to be back so I have just been there a few hours each day as long as I feel like my heart can handle moving on.. I am grateful that my Boss has been so understanding and willing to work with me and grateful for Debbie who picks up the pieces when I just need me time.
One of the girls I went to High School with sent me this poem that has been a comfort to her in times of struggle. It really touched me and so we will share knowing that this is just how we imagine it was for Blaze. Thank you Alicia for sharing it with us

You are a Special Little Spirit

"You're a Special Little Spirit," the all great Master said,
As he gentlycaressed the curly blond hair of the Little Spirit's head
"You need to go toEarth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, and grow."
The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed his head,
And from his eye a tear did steal and down his cheek it shed.
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here, You'll hardly know that you've been gone.
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed His Little Spirit good-bye.
"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered, as he climbed onto his Master's knee,
And the Master said, "I told you, you would not be long away from me."
And then, the Lord, He noticed still another tear welled in his eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit, whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Little Spirit said, "but Master you must surely know,
When Your Angel came to get me, I did not want to go.
I know You said You needed me, and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?"
The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from off His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said, "Come walk with Me."
The Little Spirit and the Lord slowly walked hand in hand,
As the Master explained his special part in the great and marvelous plan.
"Now,Lord, I don't mean to argue, I understand that you needed me home.
But I left in such a hurry, I left everyone hurting and so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know how much I loved them so.
I was too small to tell them Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way,so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did, how can I ever tell them why?"
"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy with this message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore, I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll contend and give peace to their aching hearts, so they will understand."
The Little Spirit looked up at her Master and said "Thank You for explaining it to me.
And could you please tell them that I'm safe and happy, and that someday They'll be here with me?"
"Yes," said the Lord with a smile and a nod, I'll tell them all that I can.
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit, as the Lord let go of his hand.
He said, "I'll tell them that you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul to keep Heaven from getting cold"
Author unknown