It never gets easier...

We went to Blazes grave on Friday... to take him his pumpkin for halloween and balloons. Something inside of me knows he loves balloons.. I think Red would be his favorite color. So each time we go to be at our little angels graveside we take ballons. Most of the time it is surreal that we have to visit our little boy at his graveside. This time seemed particullarly hard seeing our names on a head stone struck my heart. We miss him everyday and are grateful he is ours forever!

For me the reality is that it never gets easier to visit his graveside. We still cry and we still long to hold him and have him in our lives. In some ways the feelings of hurt and anger have subdued into feelings of learning and hoping I am being the Mom he needs. I hope I have learned from the trials and heartache placed before me. I hope to be better in order to be with our angel again! I hope he knows just how much we love him and he doesn't feel forgotten! Most of all I hope he feels the Love we have for him!
We got him these flowers for Memorial day... and some earthly angel (we don't know who) has watered them all summer so to who ever it may be THANK YOU for being there when we cannot! We feel so blessed to have you watch over out little angels grave.
Other pics... her I am at 17 weeks... I think... I thought I was huge LAME! And here is 21 weeks big difference! Baby G is growing fast we're grateful for everyday we get to be part of another miracle in our lives. We find comfort in the thought that Blaze is helping his little brother along the way :)

If you missed the last post check it out... it's from Ray he is hilarious! I am lucky to be surrounded by a house full of wonderful boys! Ray, Blaze, soon Baby G, and Dexter. I love it!